A Heart’s Lesson for the Widowed Rancher (Preview)

Chapter One

St. Louis

1880

Emma waited until she was sure that her charge was distracted with her cousins in the sitting room before she departed from the house. She had been given an opportunity to have the afternoon off while Charlotte was with her family, and Emma intended to make the most of it. If she stayed any longer, she was going to end up being dragged back in and treated like a servant.

Turning her coat collar up to stop the light rain from going down her neck, she headed through the streets towards the bustling shops. Being slightly further up the hill, the decline in the slope was a little hard to navigate when it was wet and slippery, causing Emma to slide a little in places. But she got to the bottom and heaved a sigh of relief as she started walking along a flatter sidewalk.

If she was lucky, she wouldn’t have to do that for much longer.

Emma couldn’t remember the last time she went to the shops on her own. She was always accompanying her charge, and she was never allowed to buy anything. Not that she could with her meager salary; she wasn’t paid enough to get what she wanted, so saving ferociously had become a way of life.

She didn’t want that anymore. It was too much.

It took a while, but soon Emma was standing in front of the building she had come to know intimately during her childhood. The St. Louis Orphanage. It had been some years since Emma had been here, walking out into her first job at fourteen, but it only felt like yesterday when the Montgomery family came to visit looking for a companion for their daughter. When she first heard about the position, Emma had jumped for joy.

Now she wished that she had turned them down and stayed.

The knocker felt heavier than she remembered, and Emma’s fingers were cold from the rain as she lifted it up, dropping it with a loud bang. It felt like an age before the door opened and a familiar face stuck their head outside.

“Miss Emma!”

“Hello, Mr. Davidson.” Emma managed a smile even as her teeth chattered. “May I come in?”

“I…of course!” Davidson stepped aside and beckoned her inside. “What are you doing out there in the rain?”

“I want to speak to Miss Carter. Is she around?”

“She’s in her study. Let me take your coat.” Davidson helped Emma to get the offending item off, water dripping onto the floor, before taking her hat. “She’s not expecting you, is she? She didn’t make me aware that you were visiting.”

“No, she isn’t.” Emma smoothed her hair down. She was sure the rain and her hat made it stand on end. “This is a surprise, of a sort.”

“You’re not coming back to live here, are you? I think you’re a bit late for that.”

Emma smiled at the porter’s attempt at humor. Then she walked away, moving through the familiar hallways to Nancy Carter’s study. The matron of the orphanage had always been a kind, generous woman who looked after her children like she had birthed them herself. It was because of her the orphanage was thriving. Even with her opportunity to leave and start afresh, Emma had felt sad leaving the place she had known as her home for seven years.

She never anticipated coming back six years after she left. But Emma didn’t know where else to turn.

Reaching the study, Emma found herself hesitating before she knocked. This felt so strange and yet so familiar. Emma recalled the day she was left on the steps of the orphanage by her mother, who simply said to wait and be good while she went to run errands. It had started raining shortly after, and there had been no sign of her mother.

Emma would have caught a cold standing out in the rain without a proper coat on if Miss Carter hadn’t come back from running her own errands and brought her inside. It hadn’t occurred to seven-year-old Emma to knock and ask if she could wait inside.

Her mother simply vanished, and nobody could find her. Emma had been numb for weeks afterwards, hoping her mother would come back. It was nearly a year before she gave up hope and resigned herself to the fact she wouldn’t be going home.

Miss Carter had looked after her all through that time. She was like the mother Emma needed, cherishing her and the couple of dozen children that were in the orphanage at any given time. They were all well-fed and cared for, and Miss Carter made sure they had some sort of education. Emma had appreciated a stranger opening her heart to little ones who needed someone to love them.

The matron had always promised she would help if Emma ever needed it again. She hoped that this was true.

Taking a deep breath, still feeling nervous, Emma finally knocked.

“Come in.”

That familiar voice washed over Emma, and she almost burst into tears. She pushed through the door and into the study. Miss Carter was at her desk, head bent as she squinted through her spectacles, her pen scratching across the paper. She glanced up and did a double-take when she saw who had walked into the room.

“Emma? Emma Callahan?”

“Miss Carter.”

Emma’s voice was tight, and she had to swallow back the hard lump in her throat. She had been focused and determined leaving the Montgomery house, but now she was somewhere comforting, a place she knew, and her courage was leaving her.

From the look on Miss Carter’s face, she seemed to realize what Emma was feeling. Almost tossing her pen aside and snatching off her spectacles, she stood up and hurried around the desk.

“Oh, darling!” She pulled Emma into an embrace that made her crumble a little more. “You’re so cold! And you’re shaking. What on earth’s happened to you?”

Emma blinked back the tears, but she still felt them falling. She couldn’t speak. Immediately, Miss Carter led her over to the fire burning in the hearth and urged her to sit down.

“There,” she said, putting a blanket around her shoulders. “I’m glad I put the fire on today. Get yourself warm.”

“Thank you.” Emma tugged the blanket tighter around her. “I’m sorry, I…I didn’t think I was going to break down.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for. You’re always welcome here. I told you that.” Miss Carter sat beside her. “Take your time and tell me what’s going on.”

Emma took a few deep breaths and managed to find the words.

“I’m not happy, Miss Carter. My position…it’s horrible now.”

“How so? I thought things were going well. The Montgomery family are wealthy, and they promised you would be properly looked after.” Miss Carter frowned. “Or was that all a lie?”

Emma could feel the heat of the fire warming her legs through her skirts. It wouldn’t be long before she felt it all over her body. She longed to get warm; the rain had settled into her clothes and now her blouse was sticking to her.

Part of her just wanted to roll as close to the fire as possible to dry herself. Or just jump into the flames.

She stared at the flames dancing around, the sight of them hypnotic. Then Emma jumped when Miss Carter touched her hand.

“Emma? What happened?”

“Things were…they were fine in the beginning,” Emma admitted. “For the first couple of years, Charlotte and I got along. We had a good bond between us. We had our lessons together; we had the same friends, and her parents adored me. Then we hit seventeen and…”

She hesitated. How was she going to get this out without feeling humiliated? It had been three years ago, and Emma was still uncomfortable with the whole situation. She glanced at Miss Carter, who waited patiently for her to continue. That was something about the matron; she was such a kind, sweet woman who let everyone go at their own pace.

“Charlotte liked this boy, Thomas Redwood. He’s nineteen, the son of a wealthy cloth merchant. He was often in our social circles, but when Charlotte confessed to him that she liked him, he had a confession of his own.”

“What was it?”

“He liked me more. That was the reason he was hovering around our group of friends.” Emma shook her head. “Once she heard that, Charlotte changed towards me. She accused me of ruining her happiness, and that I should know my place. Ever since then she’s treated me badly, barely acknowledging me unless it’s for something demeaning. I’m not allowed to sit with her and interact with our friends, and I had to be at her beck and call. Her parents asked her about it, and Charlotte told them that I deliberately jeopardized her potential courtship, which was not true at all. But they didn’t listen to her and started treating me badly as well.”

Miss Carter looked shocked, staring at Emma with an open mouth. The look would have been comical if the situation hadn’t been so bad.

“They did all of that?”

“Yes,” Emma said miserably. “I was relegated to a maid and excluded from social events. And I barely get paid as well. Our friends even started treating me differently, barely looking my way. I’m so isolated there.”

Miss Carter gasped.

“I can’t believe this. Why didn’t they send you away if they believed you ruined their daughter’s future? Why keep you around?”

“I wish they had sent me elsewhere,” Emma replied bitterly. “But I know Charlotte told her parents to keep me around so I know my place. She seems to take joy in showing that she’s better than I am. I couldn’t take it anymore. I thought I could, but I was fooling myself. When I got a chance to leave the house I took it. I can’t go back to that, Miss Carter. I really can’t!”

“All right, all right, dear.” Miss Carter put an arm around Emma’s shoulders as she began to struggle to breathe. “Deep breathes, Emma. Nice and slow.”

Emma tried, but it was easier said than done. She closed her eyes, trying to focus on something that wasn’t the panic building inside her. When she finally opened her eyes again, Miss Carter was watching her with a gentle smile.

“It’s going to be all right. I won’t let them hurt you any further, Emma.”

“I don’t want to go back to that.”

“And you won’t. We might need to collect your belongings, but…”

Emma shook her head.

“I don’t really have anything there that’s of any value. I just…want to get out of there.”

“And of course you can.” Miss Carter’s arms tightened around her shoulders. “I’ll make sure you don’t have to go back. I agreed for you to become a companion, not a slave. And if those people think that they can treat you like that, then they’re sorely mistaken.”

“Please, Miss Carter.” Emma dabbed at her cheeks, wiping away the tears. “Can you help me?”

“Of course I can help you, dear.” Miss Carter gave her a comforting smile. “I will do what I can to get you something else. You only have to ask.”

Emma had hoped that was the case.

“I’m sorry I didn’t keep in touch,” she mumbled. “I feel bad for that…”

“You don’t need to apologize. I was happy that you managed to find a new life.” Miss Carter sighed. “I wish I’d known about this sooner, though. But that’s no one’s fault.”

She stood up and went over to the desk, tugging on the bell pull by the fireplace as she passed. As she rearranged a few papers, the door opened, and Davidson came in.

“Yes, Miss Carter?”

“Could you ask Mrs. Midgley to prepare a hot drink and some food for Emma, Davidson? She needs to warm up.”

“Yes, of course.”

“And then I want you to find Josephine and get her to deliver a letter to Mr. Montgomery. I’ll be explaining to him what’s happening and how you’re not going back to the house. He might want to argue about that, but you’re old enough to make your own choices. This is just to tell him to back off.” Miss Carter spoke to Davidson first, then directed her attention back to Emma as she sat down and picked up her pen. “I’m sure he won’t want me to tell the more…influential people in St. Louis what he’s been up to.”

Davidson nodded and left the room. Emma frowned at the woman she saw as a mother, wondering what she was devising. Miss Carter didn’t look at Emma initially, concentrating on looking through the papers in a wooden tray on her desk.

“I might be able to have something for you here. We get plenty of suggestions and recommendations.” Miss Carter glanced at her. “Most of them are on the frontier, however. Would you be able to cope with that?”

“The frontier?” Emma sat up. “I would go out west?”

“Yes. It’s a tough life, but people are settling down. They’re always looking for people to fill various positions. If we find something that sounds appealing to you, would you want to go?”

Emma recalled Charlotte talking about the frontier before and how desolate it had to be there. They had also giggled while reading the papers where people were advertising for brides as there were very few women. Emma thought looking for a wife like that was strange, but she guessed they didn’t have much of an option.

Could she make a life out there? It would be a fresh start, no one to rely on except herself. Yet she would have the freedom she needed.

But was it possible? There was only one way to find out.

Emma smiled and nodded.

“All right. Let’s see what you’ve got.”

Anything was better than being treated horribly by a family who promised to look after her.

#

Clear Creek, Colorado

Jack kept his eye on Billy as the little boy played with some children nearby. One of them had brought a bag of marbles, and they had found a flat, clear stone near the forge where they were rolling the marbles everywhere. There didn’t seem to be much going on in terms of a game, just a lot of fun. Billy was giggling away with the rest of them.

Jack was glad about that. It was nice to see his son enjoying himself and being happy. He wished he could bring some happiness for himself, but that was easier said than done.

“Jack?”

“Hmm?”

Adam Rogers leaned around the back of the cart, his face red and sweating.

“Could you hurry up, please? I’m struggling to hold this up.”

“Oh.” Jack then remembered that he was meant to be fixing a wagon wheel that had cracked and was wobbling off the axel. “You can put the cart down as long as you’re careful. I’ve got the wheel off.”

“About time,” Adam grumbled as he lowered the back of the cart. He rolled his shoulders with a grimace. “I thought you were going to force me to stay there for good.”

“Quit complaining. It’s not that heavy.”

“It is when you’re standing there doing nothing.” Adam flexed his fingers. “Do you need me to get you anything?”

“No, I think I’ve got everything I need.” Jack glanced over at Billy again. “Could you just keep an eye on Billy for me? I can’t have my attention in two different places.”

Adam sighed.

“Billy is fine. It’s nice to see him like that.” He squeezed Jack’s shoulder. “But I’ll watch him for you. Mr. Bailey is going to come back shortly, and he’s going to want the cart ready for his upcoming travels.”

Jack knew all about that. Brandon Bailey was a man who wanted things done as soon as he snapped his fingers. There were people in Clear Creek who feared him, but Jack just ignored it. He saw Brandon as someone who desperately wanted to be in charge and was unable to do so. It was mostly hot air. Tabitha always laughed at how he seemed to be the human equivalent of the bellows Jack used on the furnace in his workshop.

The thought of Tabitha again closed Jack’s throat. He shut his eyes and tried to push away the thoughts of her. It had been eighteen months since his wife had died, leaving him with a son to raise on his own. It was nobody’s fault, but the shock had never worn off. Even now, when he woke up in the morning, he was sure that it was a bad dream, and Tabitha was lying in the bed next to him. Then the memory faded away, and he realized that he was truly alone.

She had been so young and full of life. It was hard not to fall for her with her warm, vibrant personality, her happy smile, and her optimistic outlook on life. Jack felt light and happy whenever he was around her. Then to not see her anymore…

He knew he couldn’t bring her back. She was gone, buried in the local church cemetery. And he missed her every day. Billy missed her, too, although Jack wondered if his son truly knew what had happened. He had tried to explain it to the little boy as much as he could without making it too intense, but maybe Billy didn’t understand that his mother was dead. Sometimes Jack heard him crying at night, and often he would end up sleeping in the bed with Jack.

It was all too confusing for him, and Jack wished he could make things better. He was struggling with his own emotions, knowing that he would never have his wife back. Everything he did now was for him and his son. Billy was his priority now.

What infuriated him was the whispers around town. Jack was aware the gossip was about him with the way people looked at him as he went past, but he ignored them. He had more important things to do than listen to rumors. They weren’t going to make things any better for him.

Although he had heard one thing being said, coming from Adam, who loved to tell him what was going on, was that he should marry again. It was said that Billy needed a mother. Jack simply rolled his eyes and carried on. Tabitha was the only woman he could ever allow to get close enough that he could let his guard down. Falling in love wasn’t as simple as people thought. And healing a broken heart took a long time. He was not going to marry someone simply so Billy had a mother figure in his life.

It was easier just to carry on as he was. It wasn’t that bad, other than Jack felt like he wanted to cry whenever he slowed down.

The sound of clattering horses’ hooves got his attention, and Jack turned to see the stagecoach entering the high street. Every month, the coach came in with plenty of newcomers eager to start a new life. Some of them stayed, while a few got back on the stagecoach just a few days later as their journeys continued. According to the young men who traveled with the coach, there were greener pastures further on.

Jack wasn’t interested in finding out. He had come to Clear Creek when he was fifteen and had no intention of leaving.

“Billy!” Jack called as the stagecoach neared them. “Keep away from the road! There are horses about!”

“Yes, Pa!”

Billy waved at him with a toothy grin. Adam was leaning against the door to the forge watching him, although he glanced over at the approaching stagecoach. Billy was not that good around horses. He was interested, but he said they were too big and scared him. Jack didn’t want to have him frighten one of the animals and end up under their hooves.

Confident that Adam would keep watch over his son, he went back to securing the wheel to the cart. He didn’t need Adam’s help with that as he could use his shoulder to lift up the side so he could then slide the wheel onto the axel. It left him with a sore shoulder, but it worked. As he tightened the bolts to secure it, Jack caught sight of Erica Harding across the street. She was standing outside the library watching the children play. And her attention seemed to be focused on Billy as he let out a loud squeal.

Jack sighed. He wasn’t the only one who had lost a loved one recently. Mrs. Harding had lost her husband only a month ago, dying suddenly in his sleep. Since then, Mrs. Harding walked around wearing all black clothing and a veil, none of her former confidence present. Jack felt a lot of sympathy for her; he knew how painful losing someone was.

But the way she looked at Billy unnerved him a little. He wasn’t sure why, but it was something in his gut.

Jack wondered if he was being daft, though. Mrs. Harding was harmless. It was just his imagination running wild.

As the travelers got off the stagecoach, Jack finished fixing the wagon wheel and stepped back a little to check his work. It seemed to be in place, and when he rocked the cart, it was sturdy. Ideal. It wasn’t going to give way for now. Brandon would be pleased with that.

Then he heard Adam shouting and turned, only to see Billy running over to pick up a couple of marbles that had escaped from the slab he had been playing on. He was practically under the legs of the horses.

“Billy!”

Jack darted forward as one of the horses neighed at the shout and began to rear up, but then a woman snatched Billy away with an arm around his waist, lifting him off his feet as she pulled him away from the horse. As Jacob Ratwell, the stagecoach driver, tried to calm his animal, the young woman carried Billy away from the commotion before setting him down again.

“Are you alright?” she asked, kneeling in front of him. “You’re not hurt.”

“I’m fine.” Billy pointed. “I was getting my marbles.”

Jack hurried over, reaching the pair as the woman smiled at Billy and squeezed his hands.

“We’ll get them in a moment. Just let the stagecoach leave, and then it will be safer.”

“All right.” Billy didn’t look certain, but he nodded and managed a shy smile at her. “Thank you.”

Then he hurried back to his friends, who drew him back into their game. The missing marbles didn’t seem to be a problem anymore. Jack watched him for a moment, his heart pounding in his chest, making sure that his son was safe. He had almost lost his little boy under the hooves of a charging horse. And he had frozen, unable to get there in time. If it hadn’t been for that woman…

Jack turned back to her as she rose to her feet and found himself staring at the golden-haired beauty wearing a blouse with a dark green jacket and skirt and matching hat. She was young, barely twenty if he had to guess, but there was a poise and grace about her that gave her some sort of maturity. Although there were signs of tiredness around her eyes and mouth, her blue eyes sparkled.

Jack couldn’t stop himself from staring at her. He had never seen anyone like her.

Chapter Two

Emma hadn’t expected her first few moments in Clear Creek to be eventful, but the little boy was safe. At least he hadn’t been trampled underneath the horse.

Now she was being openly stared at by one of the most impressive-looking men she had ever come across. Tall and broad-shouldered with a rugged appearance and a mass of dark hair, his square jaw dark with a scruffy beard, he had a commanding presence. But even then, there was an air of sadness around him. It was almost like a blanket that was wrapped around his shoulders.

It made Emma want to go to him and give him a hug, even though she had never met him. Her fingers itched to reach out and touch him.

She licked her lips and cleared her throat.

“Is something wrong?”

“Hmm?” He blinked, then he shook himself. “Sorry, I…I guess…”

Emma waited. His cheeks went a little pink and he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Sorry. I froze a little bit. Thank you for helping my son.”

“Oh, he’s your little boy?” Emma looked towards the child she had rescued. “I should have guessed. You two look so alike.”

His father grunted.

“I’ve always thought he looks more like his mother.”

“And I’m sure his mother would say the same about you,” Emma said lightly.

“Perhaps.” He held out a large hand. “I’m Jack Donovan. That’s my son, Billy.”

“Emma Callahan.”

Emma slipped her hand into his, noting the roughness of his palm and fingers. But he had a strong grip, and it was very warm. Part of her wanted him to keep holding onto her, but then she reminded herself that he was married, and she couldn’t think such things. It was immoral.

Pulling her hand away, Emma looked back to see her trunk being placed on the ground. She hadn’t had much to pack, but Miss Carter had insisted on giving her a few extra dresses and other items of clothing so she didn’t have to worry about that much. Hopefully, she would be able to buy her own eventually without having to worry about relying on anyone else.

She wanted to be self-sufficient.

“So, you’re here for a visit?” Jack asked. “Or are you staying?”

“I’m staying,” Emma answered. “I’ve got a job here.”

“Oh, really?”

“I’m to be the new schoolteacher. I believe there was a vacancy recently?”

Jack raised his eyebrows, his expression curious.

“That’s right. Clarissa Park got married, and her husband wanted to head towards the coast. Something about finding gold on the beaches of Oregon, or something like that.”

“Gold on the beaches?”

“I think he might have gotten the most recent gold rush and white sandy beaches mixed up somehow. We weren’t going to argue with him, though, especially when he wanted to start a new life as a married man.” Jack shrugged. “I’m sure those two will be fine.”

Emma smiled. She looked over at Billy and the other children, still playing with their marbles. There was a lot of giggling as well. She caught the eye of the young man with untidy, dark hair who was standing nearby. He gave her a smile and lumbered over, towering over both her and Jack.

“Good to meet you, ma’am.” he said, sticking out a hand. “I’m Adam Travis. Welcome to Clear Creek.”

“Miss Emma Callahan.” Emma shook his hand, unable to hold back a wince as he almost squeezed her hand too tightly. She flexed her fingers once they were free. “Are all the men built like trees around here?”

Adam laughed, and Jack’s mouth twitched.

“Not quite, but it certainly helps. Life can get tough out here.” Adam peered at her. “Let’s hope you can cope with the lifestyle in Colorado. It’s going to be hard on you if you don’t adapt.”

Emma shrugged.

“That doesn’t scare me at all. I grew up in an orphanage, so adapting isn’t that difficult for me.”

“What’s going on?”

Emma jumped at the sound of a woman’s voice behind her and noticed that both Adam and Jack were trying not to groan, Adam rolling his eyes. She turned and saw a tall, thin woman with her faded blonde hair pinned up under a black hat with a veil. She wore black that covered everything except her face. It was the middle of May and a very warm day, which made Emma wonder how she hadn’t fainted in the heat.

The woman gave her a haughty look before turning to Jack.

“Why are you talking to this young lady instead of watching over your son, Mr. Donovan?” she snapped.

Jack sighed.

“He’s perfectly fine, Mrs. Harding. You don’t need to worry about him.”

“Don’t need to…? He almost ended up trampled by that big beast!” The woman pointed a long finger at the nearest horse. “And all because you weren’t watching him properly! He could have been killed!”

“That’s a bit of an exaggeration, isn’t it?” Adam asked. “Billy’s fine. Miss Callahan rescued him anyway.”

Mrs. Harding sniffed, barely acknowledging Emma as she continued to scold Jack.

“How can you call yourself a father when something like that happens? I’ve never seen so much carelessness in all my life!”